Let’s be real: most Nintendo characters are camp. Between the eyeliner, melodrama, power stances, and wardrobe choices, the Big N is basically serving Drag Race: Mushroom Kingdom. But what if we told you your favorite queer-coded character says a lot about you?

Whether you’re a Luigi loyalist, a Toadette apologist, or a King Boo girlie with commitment issues, we’ve got your spiritual diagnosis.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Princess Zelda

Mystical Femme With a Degree in Emotional Distance
Princess Zelda is the friend who always looks flawless but is secretly dealing with five ancient curses, two exes, and a prophecy. She’s a regal intellectual who can recite ancient texts and ghost you in perfect grammar. Zelda has big “healer girl with intimacy issues” energy, wise beyond her years, emotionally layered, and never without a cloak or a dramatic backlight. If she’s your favorite, you’re drawn to elegance, mystery, and the type of woman who would absolutely destroy you in a debate and still make you want to write poetry about her.

  • Zodiac Signs: Virgo sun, Pisces moon

  • Favorite Food: Lavender tea and a gluten-free almond tart

  • Hobby: Tarot readings, ancient scroll translation, and setting boundaries via scroll

  • Green Flag: Emotionally intelligent, loyal, and knows what everyone needs before they ask

  • Red Flag: Believes “destiny” is a valid excuse for leaving you on read for six weeks

Rosalina

Lipstick Lesbian in a Spaceship
Rosalina is the intergalactic femme fatale of your dreams. She left the galaxy because no one on Earth was giving her the respect, or the orgasms, she deserved. She’s poised, mysterious, and never texts first because she’s literally in another dimension.

  • Zodiac Signs: Libra sun, Scorpio moon

  • Favorite Food: Champagne truffles (ideally gifted by a nervous girl in a sundress)

  • Hobby: Floating through space while listening to Phoebe Bridgers remixes

  • Green Flag: Knows your love language without asking

  • Red Flag: Still emotionally hung up on a space princess from 200 years ago

Luigi

Bisexual Soft Boy With a Ghost Problem and a Gold Heart
Luigi is the anxious bisexual prince of your heart. Always second to the spotlight, but first to hold your bag, Luigi is gentle, loyal, and just nervous enough to be endearing. He apologizes when you bump into him, cries at Pixar movies, and has exactly one denim jacket that he wears to every queer event. He’s emotionally in tune, just not with his own feelings. If he’s your favorite, you’re either a hopeless romantic, a sucker for underdogs, or you’ve dated someone who claimed they were “just figuring things out.”

  • Zodiac Signs: Cancer sun, Libra rising

  • Favorite Food: Pesto pasta and whatever you’re eating off your plate

  • Hobby: Ghost hunting, overthinking, and leaving voice memos at 2 a.m.

  • Green Flag: Deeply empathetic, remembers small details, and lets you cry during movies

  • Red Flag: Will emotionally spiral over a text with no punctuation

Toad

Chaos in a Crop Top
Toad is that friend who shows up late, loud, and dressed like he’s about to get kicked out of a gay bar for crowd-surfing during a Carly Rae Jepsen deep cut. He’s the life of the party and the reason it got shut down. Toad has never whispered a day in his life. If you’ve ever gone on a spontaneous trip, gotten a questionable piercing, or flirted with three people in one hour, Toad was probably involved.

  • Zodiac Signs: Aries sun, Gemini moon

  • Favorite Food: Spiked iced matcha

  • Hobby: Starting drama and then immediately exiting the group chat

  • Green Flag: Will hype you up no matter what

  • Red Flag: Will also expose your secrets for fun

Toadette

Activist Lesbian With a Megaphone and a Mission
Toadette organizes mutual aid drives and drag brunch in the same afternoon. She has pronoun pins in every color, knows three types of composting, and once made a cop cry with a single tweet. She’s got a carabiner full of keys, stickers, and a laminated schedule. If she’s your fave, you either love her… or you are her.

  • Zodiac Signs: Capricorn sun, Aries moon

  • Favorite Food: Fair trade iced oat latte and a protest sandwich wrapped in wax paper

  • Hobby: Volunteering, tabling events, and yelling at your landlord on your behalf

  • Green Flag: Passionate, principled, and will help you build your bookshelf and your political consciousness

  • Red Flag: Corrects your grammar and your politics in bed

King Boo

Villainous, Vengeful, and the Drama You Secretly Crave
King Boo isn’t just a ghost, he’s the phantom of your failed situationship. He’s the one who said “we’re just vibing” while holding your hand under the table. He lives for theatrics, disappears at random, and always reappears just when you’re finally healing. He doesn’t haunt houses, he haunts people. And if he’s your favorite? Baby, you love a red flag with good lighting.

  • Zodiac Signs: Scorpio sun, Gemini rising

  • Favorite Food: Dark chocolate and stolen joy

  • Hobby: Casually destroying group dynamics with a single cryptic comment

  • Green Flag: Charismatic, mysterious, and throws unforgettable Halloween parties

  • Red Flag: Gaslights you and your therapist

Bowser

Gay Bear With a Soft Belly and a Big Roar
Bowser isn’t your enemy, he’s your ex’s new boyfriend who insists on being friends with you now. He’s the undisputed king of Bear Week, wears leather year-round, and bakes sourdough when he’s not trying to take over the Mushroom Kingdom. Beneath the spikes and growls? A sensitive guy who just wants cuddles and control (but mostly cuddles).

  • Zodiac Signs: Taurus sun, Leo moon

  • Favorite Food: Brisket, craft beer, and your leftovers

  • Hobby: Powerlifting and hosting game night (he brings a cheese board)

  • Green Flag: Loyal, protective, and gives the best hugs

  • Red Flag: Gets weirdly jealous of Mario even though he swears he’s “over it”

That’s the End of This Rainbow

Whether you’re channeling Toadette’s clipboard-wielding chaos, Rosalina’s cosmic femme energy, or Bowser’s bear-coded dominance, one thing’s clear: these Nintendo icons aren’t just characters, they’re queer archetypes.

So next time someone asks why you relate so hard to an intergalactic space mom or a bisexual ghost hunter, just shrug and say: It’s gay lore, babe.