Actress Tommy Dorfman is offering a candid look back at her unexpected rise to fame following her breakthrough role as high school student Ryan Shaver in Netflix’s critically acclaimed series “13 Reasons Why,” which aired from 2017 to 2020. In an exclusive interview, Dorfman, 33, shared the invaluable advice she would impart to her younger self about navigating the often overwhelming world of celebrity: “Just don’t take it so seriously.”
The sentiment, simple yet profound, stems from Dorfman’s personal experience with instant global recognition. “It’s not real. It’s seasonal. It comes in waves. It ebbs and flows,” she told PEOPLE, a sentiment that resonates with many in the entertainment industry who experience the cyclical nature of public attention.
Dorfman recalled feeling profoundly unprepared for the success of “13 Reasons Why,” a show based on Jay Asher’s 2007 novel that tackled sensitive and pressing issues for young adults. “I had no media training. I had no idea what was going on,” she admitted, reflecting on the period immediately following the series’ release. The sheer scale of the show’s impact caught everyone involved by surprise. “Nobody told us that they thought the show would be as successful as it was,” she explained. “Nobody could have predicted how successful that show was.”
The rapid onset of fame proved to be a challenging experience for Dorfman. “It’s such a scary thing to be thrown into,” she shared, acknowledging that many of her peers in the industry can relate to the disorienting nature of sudden widespread recognition. This raw honesty offers a glimpse into the often-unseen struggles behind the glamorous facade of Hollywood.
However, with the wisdom of hindsight, Dorfman’s perspective has evolved, leaving her feeling less jaded and more at peace with her past. “I wish I could have told her that it’s temporary,” she conveyed, speaking of her younger self. “I thought that was gonna be my life forever. That’s where the fear came from, and it’s so not true, thank God!” This revelation underscores the emotional toll that the perception of perpetual fame can inflict on young actors.
Photo: Hanover Square Press
Dorfman’s journey through fame and self-discovery is intimately detailed in her debut memoir, “Maybe This Will Save Me,” which provides a deeply personal account of her childhood, young adulthood, and how “13 Reasons Why” irrevocably altered the trajectory of her life. She was 24 years old when she secured the role of Ryan Shaver, a pivotal character in the series’ initial seasons. Dorfman had a recurring role for the first two seasons and later returned for a guest appearance in the fourth and final season.
In her memoir, Dorfman vividly describes moments of discomfort and fear associated with public recognition. She recounted a particularly unsettling incident on a New York City subway train where she was suddenly “swarmed by a group of teenagers.” This experience led her to retreat. “When I got home, I locked myself in my apartment for a few days,” she wrote, expressing a profound sense of terror and even “shame.” She confessed, “Sure, I’d dream of a moment like that for my whole life. Only now that it’d come, I was utterly terrified, f—— ashamed even, because I didn’t feel deserving, like my work hasn’t qualified me for that attention.”
She further elaborated on the feeling of vulnerability that came with losing her anonymity. “And, on that train, it felt like a violation, as if the comforting cloak of anonymity had been stripped off my back and thrown to the ground.” This powerful description paints a picture of the profound shift in personal space and privacy that often accompanies celebrity.
Today, Dorfman approaches public attention with a remarkably different and positive mindset. “I will hug anyone,” she tells PEOPLE. “I’ll take any photo somebody wants me to take. I have no problem with any of that.” This transformation from fear to acceptance is a testament to her personal growth. “I think it’s so cool now, I’m not scared of it. I’m like, ‘Wow! How cool is it that I get to meet this kid or adult who is impacted in this way?’ What a gift that is.”
In her advice to her younger self, Dorfman would also emphasize the importance of internal focus. “Have fun with it and don’t get too caught up in what other people are doing,” she would advise, stressing the need to avoid comparison and maintain a sense of personal joy in her work.
Significantly, Dorfman publicly came out as transgender after the conclusion of “13 Reasons Why.” In her memoir, she shared the powerful experience of revisiting her role in the series through the lens of her identity. She wrote that she “so clearly saw a girl trapped” in her character, a realization that undoubtedly deepened her understanding of her own journey.
Since her time on the Netflix series, Dorfman has continued to build a diverse and fulfilling career in entertainment. She made her Broadway debut in the 2024 production of “Romeo and Juliet” and showcased her talents on screen in Lena Dunham’s 2022 comedy-drama “Sharp Stick.”
Looking to the future, Dorfman expresses immense satisfaction with her current career trajectory. “I love my career right now,” she shared. “I’m in no rush to do anything. I do a lot. I work a lot. I have a lot that I develop and produce.” She teased exciting upcoming announcements, stating, “And there are gonna be a good amount of announcements over the next few months about a lot of projects that have been in the pipeline.”
The stability and creative fulfillment she now experiences are a welcome change. “My career feels exactly where it’s supposed to be right now,” Dorfman affirmed. “I know what I’m doing for the next 12 months. That’s the gift of all gifts. It’s very rare that I get to have that.”
Tommy Dorfman’s memoir, “Maybe This Will Save Me,” offering a poignant and honest reflection on fame, identity, and personal evolution, is available now wherever books are sold. Her story serves as a powerful testament to finding authenticity and peace amidst the swirling currents of public life.
