For many queer people, conversations around love, dating and relationships are often framed through joy, liberation and chosen family. A new campaign launched in Washington, D.C., wants to make sure another reality is no longer ignored.
The Wanda Alston Foundation and several local partners officially launched the “Queer Love Shouldn’t Hurt” campaign this month ahead of LGBTQ+ Domestic Violence Awareness Day on May 28. The initiative aims to raise awareness about intimate partner violence within LGBTQ+ communities while connecting survivors with culturally competent resources.
“Domestic and family violence in LGBTQ+ communities is real and too often invisible,” said Cesar Toledo, executive director of the Wanda Alston Foundation. “As a community, we do not talk about it enough, and that silence can leave survivors feeling isolated and alone. We must break that silence.”
Throughout May, the campaign has rolled out digital education materials, workshops and public toolkits across the District. Organizers say the effort is designed not only to increase visibility, but also to challenge longstanding misconceptions surrounding queer relationships and abuse.
The Statistics Paint A Stark Picture
The numbers behind the campaign are difficult to ignore.
According to information shared through QueerLove.org, nearly two in five LGBTQ+ young people reported being forced into unwanted sexual activity. More than half of trans and nonbinary people have experienced intimate partner violence.
Lesbian and bisexual women also face disproportionate rates of abuse. Data cited by the campaign reports that 61% of bisexual women and 44% of lesbian women have experienced intimate partner violence during their lifetime.
Men in same-sex relationships are affected as well. Research shared through the initiative found that one-third experience emotional abuse, while one-quarter report physical violence.
The campaign also highlights how systems meant to protect survivors can sometimes create additional barriers for queer people seeking help.
Trans and nonbinary individuals, who already face elevated rates of housing insecurity, are often excluded from domestic violence shelter policies. Survivors may also fear being outed when reporting abuse, which can affect employment, custody arrangements, housing and family relationships.
For queer parents, the risks can become even more complicated. Because many LGBTQ+ families do not fit traditional legal frameworks, nonbiological parents can face challenges maintaining custody rights. The campaign notes that Black lesbian and bisexual women are significantly more likely to lose custody of their children than heterosexual women.
Another alarming issue involves dual arrests in same-sex domestic violence cases. Because law enforcement often struggles to identify the primary aggressor in queer relationships, nearly 30% of same-sex incidents result in both partners being arrested, compared to roughly 1% among heterosexual couples.
Breaking Silence Within The Community
One of the campaign’s central messages is that abuse does not look the same in every relationship.
For years, public understanding of domestic violence has largely centered on heterosexual couples, leaving many LGBTQ+ survivors without representation or language for their own experiences. Organizers behind Queer Love Shouldn’t Hurt say that lack of visibility can make survivors feel isolated or unsure where to turn.
“To survivors: free culturally competent care is out there,” Toledo said. “By visiting queerlove.org, people can safely access vital resources, educational toolkits, and support networks they need on their healing journey.”
The initiative arrives at a time when conversations surrounding queer safety continue to expand beyond legislation and public policy. While LGBTQ+ rights remain under political scrutiny in many states, advocates say support systems inside queer communities matter just as much.
The campaign’s branding also intentionally reframes the conversation around care and accountability. Rather than centering shame, organizers hope the messaging encourages honest discussions among partners, friends and chosen family.
Where To Learn More
Those interested in educational materials, survivor resources or community support opportunities visit QueerLove.org.
LGBTQ+ Domestic Violence Awareness Day takes place annually on May 28.
