Stories like this are a gut punch, not because they’re rare, but because they still keep happening. It’s maddening to see queer people, especially youth, confronted in public spaces simply for existing. And in this case, the bathroom wasn’t the danger. It was the person who followed someone into it.
An 18-year-old Minnesota high school senior, Gerika Mudra, has filed a discrimination charge against a Buffalo Wild Wings in Owatonna. She says a server confronted her in the women’s restroom, accused her of being “a boy,” and blocked the stall until she “proved” she was female.
“Prove You’re a Girl”
According to Gender Justice, the nonprofit legal group representing Mudra, the April incident began when she went to the restroom while dining with a friend. A female server allegedly followed her inside, banged on the stall, and announced, “This is a women’s restroom. The man needs to get out of here.”
Mudra says the employee stood in her way until she unzipped her hoodie to show her chest. Only then did the server leave, without an apology.
Buffalo Wild Wings and its parent company, Inspire Brands, have not responded to requests for comment.
Protected by Law, Ignored in Practice
The complaint cites the Minnesota Human Rights Act, which bans discrimination in public spaces based on sexual orientation and gender identity, including cases rooted in stereotypes about how someone “should” look.
“What happened to Gerika Mudra was not just wrong, it was unlawful,” said Sara Jane Baldwin, senior staff attorney at Gender Justice. “No one should be harassed, humiliated, or forced to prove themselves just to use the bathroom.”
Mudra, who is biracial and a lesbian, says this isn’t the first time strangers have questioned her gender in public restrooms, but it’s the most extreme. “After that, I just don’t like going in public bathrooms,” she said in a video statement. “I just hold it in. I keep thinking I’m going to get harassed again.”
Hearing that trepidation come from an 18-year old who simply wanted to use the bathroom really is saddening and makes you think about the bigger implications of an employee, or anyone for that matter, doing this to others in our communities.
Her stepmother, Shauna Otterness, called the encounter “cruel and humiliating,” adding, “She just didn’t fit what that server thought a girl should look like. We can do better, and we have to.”
The Bigger Picture
Advocates warn that incidents like this don’t just happen to transgender people, anyone who doesn’t fit rigid gender norms can be targeted. Nineteen states currently have laws restricting transgender bathroom access in schools and, in many cases, government buildings. Minnesota rejected a similar bill in 2017, but activists say rising hostility in public discourse continues to put both trans and gender-nonconforming people at risk.
“This kind of gender policing is, unfortunately, nothing new,” said Megan Peterson, executive director at Gender Justice. “We have to ask: What if Gerika had been a trans person? Would this story have ended differently?”
The discrimination charge now goes to the Minnesota Department of Human Rights, which will investigate. The restaurant will have a chance to respond, and the parties may enter mediation.
In the meantime, one truth is hard to shake: No one should have to unzip their hoodie just to prove they belong in a public restroom.
