“Queer Eye” food and wine expert Antoni Porowski offered a deeply personal and candid account of his coming out experience to his father, alongside insights into his complicated family life, during an emotional interview on “Your Mama’s Kitchen,” the Audible podcast hosted by award-winning journalist Michele Norris and produced by Higher Ground, Barack and Michelle Obama’s media company. The episode, which premiered Tuesday, May 27, provides a rare glimpse into the private world of the Emmy Award-winning television personality.
Porowski’s discussion with Norris delved into the complexities of his familial relationships, including a decade-long estrangement from his mother and the profound impact of his father’s past affairs on the family dynamic. His honesty marks a significant moment, particularly as the LGBTQ+ community celebrates Pride Month, emphasizing the diverse and often challenging journeys individuals undertake to embrace their authentic selves.
A Flight, an Email, and a Father’s Quiet Love
Porowski revealed that he never officially came out to his mother and shared how a fear of flying led him to tell his father he was in a gay realtionship.
“I’ve dated men and women on and off,” Porowski said, reflecting on a relationship he had before Queer Eye. “As I was heading to the airport, I was thinking, ‘If this plane crashes, he’s not going to know this really important part of my life.’ So I sent him an email.”
The email was brief but heartfelt: “Hey, I just wanted to thank you for a really lovely weekend. About to take off. I just want you to know that I love and I am loved,” Porowski recalled writing, adding that he also shared his then-partner’s name.
Porowski didn’t hear from his father for nearly two weeks. When he finally called, his dad casually described his day before addressing the email: “Oh yeah, I think that’s great. I can’t wait to meet him. Let me know when you guys want to come to Vermont,” his father said.
“He’s an onion,” Porowski said affectionately. “It takes a while. I always joke that he’s like a fully baked cake—I’m not going to change him. I just need to accept him and embrace that bit of frosting.”
A Childhood Marked by Chaos and Silence
Porowski also shared how his upbringing in a perfectionist household left emotional scars. “There were several affairs, before and after I was born,” he said. “It wasn’t a house where I could bring friends over after a bike ride. The house was too stressful. It had to stay immaculate.”
He and his sister avoided bringing significant others home, regardless of gender. “We always went to someone else’s house who had a candy drawer and cozy music. My house—you could eat off the floors.”
Porowski described how this domestic “perfection” masked deeper dysfunction. “My mom tried to control the chaos in the home by keeping everything pristine,” he explained.
When his parents divorced, he refused to take sides. “That’s kind of at the core of why I was cut off by my mother,” he said. “There are other reasons, I’m sure, but I stayed in touch with my dad. And later I realized both of them had been unfaithful. It’s never black and white in relationships.”
Today, his contact with his mother is minimal: “I reach out to her at Christmas and on her birthday. Just a little email or text—and that’s it.”
Therapy, Self-Forgiveness, and Cultural Shifts
Porowski, who began therapy at 17, spoke openly about the emotional work he’s done to reach a place of healing. “Cutoffs are such a massive part of culture right now,” he said. “It’s something more than one therapist has told me is happening across society. I think we do need to talk about it.”
He also shared a deeply personal realization from therapy: “It’s like that Good Will Hunting scene—‘It’s not your fault.’ It took me 20 years of work to be able to say, ‘I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not a bad person.’”
A Mother’s Lost Dreams and the Power of Food
Reflecting on his love of cooking, Porowski said the kitchen was the one place his mother found joy. “She was clearly in her element,” he recalled. “It was chaotic at home, but when she cooked, she was focused and happiest. It’s the same for me.”
Porowski believes his mother’s creativity was rooted in unfulfilled ambition. “She was in med school in Poland, but she got pregnant young and left her dreams behind. She had to put that energy somewhere—and she put it toward food.”
Though their relationship remains fractured, Porowski’s empathy endures. “She came from a very toxic upbringing, a lot of abuse, a lot of betrayal. It couldn’t have been easy. What you said kind of winded me a little emotionally,” he told host Michele Norris.
Antoni Porowski’s full interview is available now on Your Mama’s Kitchen via Audible and other podcast platforms. His honesty offers a powerful message of resilience, identity, and healing—just in time to honor Pride.
